When I tell people that I am a writer/actress residing in
New York City, they are immediately impressed and think I am filthy rich.
The truth is I have been forced to work in an opposing
industry that requires me to channel the majority of my focus and energy toward
something other than my ultimate “calling”. This other industry is baby sitting for Manhattan’s Elite.
As I write this, I am laying in my bed at a decadent
townhouse in the Upper West Side of Manhattan where I baby-sit a minimum of six
hours a day, four days a week. As soon as the highly successful parents get
home from working at their multi-million dollar careers, I hand the kids off to
them, then go to my room, and use all of the energy I have left over to put
towards the steps I need to take in order to acquire my multi-million dollar career.
While I have booked a few acting and modeling jobs that paid
my rent in the past, there is no way to predict when I will book the next one or
when the paycheck will clear the bank.
I am also beginning to receive sales from the eBook I published this
summer, but with my eBook retailing at $2.99 I have to sell a lot of copies for
it to benefit my checking account.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am incredibly happy in New York
and I have had several experiences here that I would not have otherwise, and
that’s what keeps me going. But, I do wish someone had sat me down and told me
that while New York City is filled with opportunities I will never have
elsewhere, I have to work those opportunities around making a living.
As soon as you get off the bus, train, car, plane,
motorcycle, spaceship, or Learjet, that transported you here, you are
immediately granted four forms of freedom:
1.
You can
wear whatever you want to wear. The 2am Wal-Mart dress code is acceptable
in broad daylight here.
2.
You can do
whatever you want to do. The NYPD are actually quite lenient, they care
more about arresting protesters and catching financial criminals than they do
your marijuana possession.
3.
You can
be whoever you want to be. That includes your sexuality. I swear a new
brand of sexuality is born on a daily basis up here.
4.
You can
say whatever you want to say. This goes beyond free speech. In New York if
we don’t like you we tell you straight to your face; unlike those snobby west
coast and southern folk that treat you like gold then talk trash about you
behind your back.
However, while the idea of the city’s immediate liberties
can be intoxicating, there are two downsides that the city leaves out when it solicits
you to make the move.
1.
You have
to make the money you need to make, in order to take the time you need to take
to turn your dream into a reality. It becomes an internal battle between
your stomach and your soul. Your stomach cries out for food to survive while
your soul cries out for the initiative that drove you to purchase the one-way
ticket. September of 2011 I experienced this war first hand when I went the
entire month only eating bananas, peanuts, and free gold member coffee refills
at Starbucks, as an effort to save money on food and put more money toward my
modeling portfolio. At the end of the month I was not a pretty sight just ask
my former roommate.
2.
Your best
is often not good enough. Whether it’s something as miniscule as making a
Usain Bolt dash for the bus that still leaves without you or belting your lungs
out the best you can at a Broadway audition and still getting turned away, the
city of dreams will make every attempt to diminish yours on a daily basis. This
is why you must overcome the onset of depression that easily creeps in and hold
your head high above the others. This is also why New Yorkers become cenacle
over time.
So this is why New York City is the city that never sleeps.
It’s filled with people working forty hours a week to feed their stomachs and
another forty hours a week to feed their souls. It’s the only island that you
will feel all alone in a sea of nine million people and the only place where
you will feel complete creative freedom while feeling trapped in a concrete
box.
Many people applaud my bold decision to drop out of college,
quit my job, and buy a one-way ticket to New York City at twenty. What I did
was incredibly brave and very few people have the courage to do what I did, and
I applaud myself for my efforts along with them. They say if you can make in
New York City you can make it anywhere, and I am living proof that, that
statement is true. There’s six billion people in the world and only nine
million of them live in New York City, which means, most people cannot and/or
choose not to make it here and I count myself blessed to be one of New York’s
chosen ones.
One subway car in New York City is filled with more
diversity, culture, and art than the entire state of Florida. With that said,
despite the downsides, I will never regret leaving the orange state for the
apple city. It only took me two decades to squeeze all of the juice out of the
orange, but it will take me much longer to eat my way to the core of the apple.
